OK my friends, it’s time to write, a recipe will follow… 

This time since chemo it’s been horrendous, loss of appetite, loss of will and desire and the want to win have all taken a very bad step backwards.  Since chemo I’ve eaten very poorly and lost weight to the degree that I almost conceded the cancer was winning. I’ve been out working in the cold all week and the pins and needles I’m experiencing are totally desperate.  The weekend finally arrives (and I’m still not feeling optimistic) so as I’m home I decide to try and cook, for cooking’s sake.  I gave it some thought and Confit Duck came to mind.  I have grazed today but felt I needed to make a special effort to get back on course.  So, I cooked the above, dished it up and made the effort to try to eat it.  Three or four small mouthfuls and fizzy water - it was that hard, I nearly aimed it in the waste bin, the swallowing was desperate!

I gave it some thought and on realising I had eaten very little all week, I decided I’d persevere, I got there, however my thoughts were that because I’d had such a bad week with food, my system regards eating had closed down (I thought it was heading for stent time) however, after much perseverance I finally managed to eat the meal.  Believe me, nothing is easy with this cancer. I want to fight, eat real food and win but when it goes wrong it knocks the stuffing out of you.  However, I’ve got over it and am back (hopefully) on track. 

Here is the recipe:  Confit duck leg , asparagus tips, par boiled baby potatoes (essential to remove skins) then Sauté and orange sauce.  I’ve learnt that the trick for flavour with the potatoes and, to ensure they brown nicely, is to use the confit duck fat.  Please all remember I’m not a chef, every day is a school day! 

For the orange sauce I use the jelly and a little fat off of the Confit duck leg to start the sauce off, then I add a dessert spoon of blood orange marmalade, the zest and juice of a small sweet orange, veg stock from the asparagus, black pepper and a little salt to taste.  Thicken to the desired texture with a little cornflour…I’m learning! 

Anyway…the good thing is I’m back on winning form, I’m unsure how the weight will go but we live in hope.  I try hard not to talk about the bad bits of my journey, however they are a part of the story and I only want to help people so the truth is essential!